Friendships & Finding Your People

This April, I turned 24. I’ve always loved birthday parties because they feel less like celebrations of a birth date and more like celebrations of friendship!

2026 was the first year I had a birthday party where everyone there was someone I considered a true friend. I rented a small loft space in Brooklyn, made brunch food for everyone, poured mimosas, and set up a flower bar so each person could leave with a bouquet of their own. Around ten girls were able to make it. In every possible way, the party felt entirely like me… but more than that, it felt like a celebration of them, and of finally having women in my life who love me fully and undeniably for who I am.

Because of how much change I experienced throughout childhood and teenage years, friendship (and maintaining friendship) was never something that came easily to me during that time. For a while, I convinced myself that maybe I was the problem. There’s a specific kind of heartbreak that comes from opening yourself up to people you trust, only to have them abandon you, quietly root against you, or weaponize your closeness when it no longer serves them.

Transparently, it’s taken years for me to understand that who I am, and how I’m able to show up for others was never the issue. The reality was that I became deeply afraid of letting people in. I learned to keep parts of myself guarded out of the fear that if people saw me too clearly, they would eventually leave… just like when I was a teenager.

Pushing past that fear has been one of the hardest things I’ve had to do while adulting. But I can confidently say that being in a place where you don’t have people to call your friends is even harder.

At my 24th birthday, were some of the girls who would answer the phone at 3 a.m. if I needed them, listen to me vent, laugh with me until I cry, and be there for everything in between. Some have known me since I was younger and stayed while I figured out who I was becoming. Others came into my life more recently, after I had already found that person.

For anyone who might be struggling with friends, I know how lonely and discouraging it can feel.

The right friendships won’t require you to shrink yourself, prove your worth, or constantly question if they even know who you are or who you want to become.

They’ll feel so safe. Reciprocal. Easy in the ways that matter the absolute most. And when you find those people, you’ll realize that maintaining those friendships will come easily as well because these will be people you don’t want to let go of.

If you’re in a season where friendship feels hard, don’t give up! Your people are out there, and it’s never too late to find them.

I believe that meaningful friendships don’t have to be people you’ve known since pre-school. Funny enough, some of my closest friends today came from Facebook groups full of women who were in the same exact boat - new to the city, looking for connections, and hoping to build a community. My two roommates and I also met through Facebook, and I adore them.

I’m not going to lie… agreeing to meet up with someone you met in a Facebook group is nerve-wracking. In a lot of ways, it feels like going on a first date. You’re showing up hoping there’s a connection, wondering if the conversation will flow, and taking a chance on a potential friendship with someone you barely know.

But I’ve seen firsthand how a temporary feeling of discomfort can blossom into something really beautiful.

I think that’s part of the reason I wanted a bouquet bar at my birthday. My friends are truly the flowers in my life. Each one is different, bringing their own personality, perspective, and beauty to the arrangement. Some have been with me through multiple seasons, while others are newer additions who have made my world brighter in unexpected ways.

Like flowers, they continue to grow, evolve, and bloom in their own lives. And they’ve created a garden of friendship that has added so much color, joy, and life to mine.